H'okay, before I get down to the nitty gritty of Double Entendre Day, I have a rant.
My 'private, non-spammy email addy', is down as some of you may have noticed, and I am also unable to make outgoing calls from my landline. This is because of the useless ar*eing shower of incompetent bastards, that will forthwith be refered to as 'Bumtel', and a so-called postal service, which I shall refer to as 'Arselforce'.
Thanks to Arselforce not being able to deliver my new whizzy modem, I have been subject to not being entirely able to switch to my new ISP suppliers (not their fault whatsoever), as my new whizzy modem which went AWOL before Christmas, was a) delivered to the wrong address, b) signed for by the driver, c) sent to Birmingham, then d) on to Chichester for some unknown fu*king reason. It has now been declared officially lost, and hopefully I will recieve a new one in the next couple of days.
In the meantime, because I've (thanks to the new ISP folks doing summat to their 'puter system) managed to at least get broadband with my old modem, I've now discovered that I've been charged for using the old ISP's phoneline, even though they hadn't informed me of this, and now I have (alledgedly) got to pay for the last three weeks phone calls, which for me, is a feck of a lot of money.
May Bumtel and Arselforce be delivered to the seventh level of Hell, and suffer a plague of locusts to chew on their genitalia for all eternity.

/ rant.

And now for the main feature attraction you've all been waiting for, being this week's Caption Competition, rah! Without further ado, it's

Get in there, as there's a beer for everybody wot gets into my box today, and a slippery nipple if anyone gets me to a 69!

Hello again!

I'm still thrilled that I'm back and am so excited I forgot that yesterday was Double Entendre Day.
Actually, scrap that bit about forgetting. A better thing to say would be that due to the recent Bonk Holidays, DED has been reallocated to Thursday for this week, and if you're very lucky, you might get all those boxes and bags of leftover turkey, wrapping paper and other rubbish taken away today too*
Yes, that's it. DED's been reallocated to today. Yes.

So, without further preamble, here's your piccy for today's Caption Competition:

Get stuck in to filling my box; there's a delicious turkey sandwich for every funny left there, and a mince pie for the person to get me to a 69, should it happen.
Have fun!

*Although you'll probably wait until the last minute to put them out in case the foxes trash them, and end up missing the rubbish collection until the new year, by which time they'll be reeking to high heaven. Or is it just me that happens to?

Recent 'Blonde' Moments

Last week I went to a new physiotherapist as I've been getting lots of knee pain recently. After being prodded, poked, pulled and made to walk up and down with my jeans rolled up to my thighs for a while, I was informed that I am rather so slightly knock-kneed, which is causing what could be the start of arthritis.
Not the end of the world though: I've been given exercises to do, and was also given some shoe inserts to wear when I go out which can be put into any shoes or boots.
Earlier, I'd been out with Pudsey so I wore them in my wellies. I got back, did some stuff round the house, then got a call asking if Pudsey and I would like to go to the pub.
I got changed and swapped the inserts into my other non-welly boots.
Sadly, I put them in the wrong way round and as soon as I stood up, I lost my balance and fell over.

Yesterday, I went out and about hunting for festive stuff, food and pressies. I had a few cards that needed posting, and I was also getting hungry, so I stopped at a post office to get stamps, and also a sandwich to sustain me for the last of the shopping.
I perched myself on a bench while I stuck the stamps on the cards, and had a few bites out of the sarnie (egg mayonnaise, btw) I then collected all the cards, took the sandwich off the top of the bag, went back to the post box and posted my lunch through the letterbox.
It was only when I tried to take a bite out of the cards that I realized what I'd done.
If the postie that found my sandwich is reading this, I'm very, very sorry.

Anyhoo, moving on to the moment you've all been waiting for. Once more 'tis Double Entendre Day, so without further ado, here is your photo for today's Caption Competition! As it's now less than a week to go, I chose one with a festive theme, 'specially!

You know the routine by now, so get to stuffing my box. There's a candy cane for every entry, and if anyone gets me to a 69, I'll throw in a hot toddy.