Monday, August 22, 2005

A conversation in the park.

My dog, Pudsey: "Oooh, woof! look, I've found a hedgehog! Can I take it home and play with it?"
Me: "Erm, no. It's not a very good hedgehog to play with"
Pudsey: "But it could be my friend and I could play with it in the garden"
Me: "Please Pudsey, leave the hedgehog alone"
Pudsey: "Why? Why can't I have a hedgehog to play with?"
Me: " I didn't say you can't have a hedgehog, but this one isn't a very good hedgehog to play with, trust me"
Pudsey: "Why's that then? what's wrong with it?"
Me: "It doesn't have a nose sweetie, hedgehogs don't work without a nose"
Pudsey: "Oh..."
Pause while small dog thinks.
Pudsey: "What if we take this one home and call St. Tiggywinkles and ask if they have any spare noses?"
Me: "I don't think they just hand out spare noses. I'm sure the hedghogs they have there need their noses, and besides, even if they did let us have one, It's unlikely this hedgehog would work anyway."
Pudsey: "Aww... I know how to make them work again!, I saw that film re-animator. All you need is a kite which you've got and a storm with lightning! We could set up a hedgehog repair shop in the kitchen!"
Me: "Pudsey, No! I don't want bits of dead hedgehog lying around my kitchen thank you."
Pudsey: "Awww PLEASE! I'll look after it and feed it and everything!"
Me: "NO! En Oh! end of subject! Now leave the hedgehog alone. If you don't, I won't let you play kittencannon on the 'puter when we get back!"
Pudsey: "Oh alright... How about a bunny that does have a nose? Can I have a bunny if I promise to look after it? Please?"
Me: "I'll think about it."