Thursday, June 10, 2010

Hello Kitty

Many moons ago I had three wonderful dogs, named Candy, Shebie and Pudsey.
Candy was more my dad's dog, but Shebie and I had grown up together and Pudsey had been with us for about two years after her previous humans didn't want her as she wasn't a full pedigree miniature Yorkshire Terrier as it had stated on the tin*.
Apart from the occasional squabble, all three dogs got along fine with me as the Alpha female making sure there were no rebellions over who got the last piece of sausage etc.
Most days had a routine to them; the dogs would wake someone up to take them to the park and give them breakfast, then they would spend the day doing their usual doggy things such as checking the garden for squirrels and dragons, and making sure that they were first to get the comfy spot in the sunshine at nap-time.
Another regular occurrence happened at around 6pm, when a local cat would try its best to wind the dogs up. It did so by jumping up onto the fence that divided the house next door to us and was visible from the front room in my house. The cat would take its time ensuring that the dogs would notice it, then it would strut slowly along the fence to where the dogs could see it from the dining room, before jumping down off it and ambling across the lawn to where it could once again climb a fence and disappear into another neighbour's garden.
The barking of the hounds heralded the cat's arrival and would last for around five minutes as kitty strutted his stuff and wound the pack up into a frenzy.
But one day, kitty wasn't quite so lucky.
As usual at about 6pm, kitty began to saunter along the fence and as usual was espied my my dogs who as normal began to howl and bark their insults at the cat.
Again as usual, the cat walked along the fence until it got to the spot where it could be seen from the dining room and jumped onto the lawn and began to slowly walk away waving his tail in the air as if to say 'Up yours, stoopid dogs!'.
But, kitty didn't know that the back door had been left open.
The dogs knew that the back door was open, and led by Shebie they hurtled out en masses and barking and baying all manner of insults at the cat.
Now I knew that my dogs wouldn't hurt the kitty, but the kitty didn't know that, and for a second a look of shear panic crossed its face before it literally crapped and pee'd itself.
The dogs took a sniff and scrambled to a halt right in front of the cringing cat, who hadn't even had a chance to make itself look big, and then the dogs stared at the stinky, cowardly custard of a cat before walking away with their noses held high in disgust.
Funnily enough, we never saw kitty again after that...

*Her daddy was the German Shepherd that was on duty at the kennels and paid her mummy a visit the night before she went to be 'bred'.