Monday, April 12, 2010

And once again another week blossoms before us like a bud unfulrling in the springtime sun*

Today we have the usual Monday Choose-O, the results of which will determine what tomorrow brings, then on Wednesday be ready for some titillation with the Double Entendre Day Caption Competition; Thursday is as yet not 100% certain so look forward to a surprize, then on Friday I hope to bring you all sorts of fun and exciting stuff to entertain you for some, or perhaps the whole of the weekend!

Aren't you all lucky!?**

Also today, before I get to your options for the Choose-O, I have another anecdote to regale you with. It's a true story as I know the fucktard person involved, although I will not name names in order to protect the not-so innocent.

This bloke I know has dabbled in 'soft' drugs for many years, so much so that you can tell when he's getting near by the aroma of 'herbal' cigarettes from fifty paces with a following wind.
One day, not so long ago, he decided to try something different, and after asking around the local denizens of the area he managed to score some crack, or crack cocaine as it's also known for the sum of around £30.
Now he'd read all about how to smoke it, but had never put the method into practise before, and after looking up instructions on the intermanet, he looked around his house and found a plastic bottle, a straw, and some blu-tack to help seal the straw 'pipe' in place.
He carefully made a hole in the side of the bottle and got the pipe in place before realizing that he didn't have any tin foil to make the part of the pipe on which to burn the crack, which according to instructions you place over the top of the bottle, then secure with an elastic band before making some tiny holes in it with a pin in order to place the crack on top before burning it whilst breathing in through the straw.
So he improvized.

He improvized with cling film, the result being his face getting splashed with molten plastic and £30 worth of class A drugs literally going up in smoke.
Some people say that drug addicts are stupid, but some people are too stupid to become drug addicts in the first instance.

And now, your Choose-O choices are -
  • Speech
  • Snap
  • Launch time
Choose wisely my cherubim, and don't forget to tell me all about what you've been up to since last we talked, akay?

Tootles for now, *mwah!*

*Comment may contain traces of purple prose.
**Answers on a postcard/carrier pigeon/comments box.