Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Some moons ago on a fine Summer's day, I was out and about in my first car, Turpin.*
The weather was very warm indeed and all about people were starting to look red and flustered as many Brits tend to do when the temperature reaches above the 20c mark.
I had my windows rolled down to get a breeze going and was enjoying the drive until I hit traffic** and my average speed went from 25mph to about 3mph before coming to a halt for a while.
Eventually the traffic started moving again and the reason for the jam became clear.
I was heading towards Ealing Common and was nearing the junction with the North Circular road, and the main set of traffic lights had decided to stop working, but fortunately, someone with a bit of nous had got a policeman out to control the traffic.
As I waited to crawl forwards a few more feet, I watched the policeman. He was rather cute and I was daydreaming about [DELETED] when at last it was my turn to wait at the lights. The policeman was doing a fine job of getting the traffic moving and as I waited at the head of the queue to move on, I had a fine view of him as he waved the cars on the North Circular on their way.
But then, as all good things always come to an end, he stopped the traffic and it was my turn to go on.
He waved me and the traffic behind me on our way, and as I drew closer to him I smiled, and noticed that he was smiling back at me.
What he didn't notice was the Police van full of police that was heading towards him from the other direction.
I however, did notice it and was rather surprized to also notice that all the police on the driver's side of the van had their windows open and that the police inside were all holding toy guns.
As if in slow motion, we drew level with the policeman stood in the middle of the road and my smile must have faltered to a split second as I realized what the police in the van were going to do, and as the policeman noticed my expression, he turned to follow my gaze...

He was met with a volley of perfectly aimed shots from a dozen or so very full water pistols.
The poor guy was drenched, and as my window was open I also got splashed a bit as I drove past.
I couldn't stop laughing.
I thought about stopping as I got to the other side of the junction, but checking my rear-view mirror I decided not to as all I could do was giggle at the sight of the very wet policeman who had stopped waving at the traffic and was instead waving his fist at the back of the police van as it headed off carrying the miscreants away from the scene of the 'crime'.
I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the policeman got back to the station to have a word with his colleagues.
And if that policeman happens to be reading this, you looked very cute in your wet shirt.

*A gold star for the first person who knows why I called it Turpin.
**Not literally.