Tuesday, November 10, 2009


I recently worked out that I've walked a certain road about 12250 times in my lifetime.
It's the road that gets me to the local shops, pubs and bus links, so I walk along it fairly regularly, and most of the times I've done so, nothing very exciting has happened.
One time when I was about fourteen wasn't very nice as I'd just got off a bus and was heading home when this man I'd never seen before in my life came up along side me asking where I was going, and he'd walk with me to 'look after me'.
Thankfully some friends of mine lived right next to where we were, so I hammered at their door until they let me in, then we waited until he'd gone before my friend's boyfriend walked me home.
Another time I found a fabulous crystal ball that someone had left out for collection, but that wasn't so much a surprize as a wonderful moment of serendipity.
The road itself isn't even very exciting. Pub and car sales place at the top end, rows of almost identical terraced houses most of the way along on both sides, side roads leading to other places along one side, and near the very end, a couple of shops before you get to the park on one side and a school playing field on t'other. Where the shops are, the gardens stop and they have a forecourt instead of a garden, which where deliveries are dropped off, and boxes are left for collection by fence of the last garden, and there I once found a murdered Barbie doll, which was a great photo opportunity.
And as I already said, nothing very exciting ever happened.
Except the time I was walking back from work one day.
It was a lovely spring afternoon; buds were budding, trees were shooting leaves, bees were bumbling, and I was walking along the road enjoying the moment.
I was miles away thinking about something when I got to the the end of the row of houses where the gardens ended and gave way to the forecourt, when as if from nowhere, a medium-sized, collie-type dog launched itself at me with an almighty "WOOF!"
I fell over backwards as the dog grabbed hold of my knee with its mouth and I was expecting a bite, but no bite came.
Instead the dog just held onto my leg making muffled wuffing noises and wagging it's tail.
I sat up and looked at the dog which simply carried on wuffing and wagging until I said "Excuse me dog, but what the fuck hell do you think you're doing?"
At that the dog looked at me and after letting go of my leg PDQ, rolled over into an extremely apologetic and submissive position.
I shakily got to my feet while the dog carried on grovelling an apology and after I gave it a strict telling off, the dog covered its eyes with its paws while I walked off homeward once again.
I never saw the dog again, and nor have I been the victim of a dog's practical joke either.
But I would loved to have known who the dog's intended victim was and had a video camera at the ready.