To the very charming woman who called me yesterday afternoon.

Your family in Australia sound wonderful, and the grandchildren I'm sure, are all little angels, although I do think your daughter should take the toddler to the doctors if the rash gets any worse.
I'm sure your son-in-law will find another job soon, but it would probably be a good idea to stop relying on 'hitting the big time' just because he won that prize out of all the other 200 or so contestants at the karaoke competition last year.
On to topics closer to home, I do think it disgraceful that your neighbours erected their new fence two inches over the border of your garden, but I seriously doubt they did it on purpose just to spite you, and I'd recommend you simply ask them nicely to move it back instead of getting the police involved. After all, it is only two inches, and I honestly don't think they're trying to take over your garden bit by bit.
I'm sorry to hear that your ingrowing toenail has gone septic, and I'm positive your GP won't think you're making a fuss over nothing if it's oozing as badly as you say it is. If you seriously don't want to see your doctor, maybe you can find out if your health centre has a chiropodist you could see instead, but please, do get it seen to asap.
As to your 'gentleman friend' you met at the club, I say Go For It! If he's as charming as you make him sound, what do you have to lose by going out for lunch with him? The worst thing that can happen is you find out you don't get on as well as you hoped, but if all goes well you might end up with a lovely new friend, and that is always a good thing. And don't worry that he might 'try things on' with you. From what you told me about his recent hip replacements I doubt he's going to be up to much of that sort of thing anyway.
And talking of operations, thank you again for telling me about your sister's recent hysterectomy in vivid detail. I still have the mental image of her stitches bursting leaving pus and blood all over the hospital bed, but as you said, she was in the best place for something like that to happen. Oh, and btw, it is not possible to catch fibroids. Trust me on that.
Again, as I said it was lovely of you to call me and fill me in on all aspects of your life within the space of an hour, but please, please believe me when I tell you again, I am not your brother's niece.
You really did have the wrong number.

To every one else who's reading this, your Choices for today's Choose-O are -

• Home Economics
• Surprize!
• The Barking
  

And as per usual, don't forget to tell me all about your weekends while you're down there, akay?

Extra, 15:09 hours.
Can anyone guess what this is?

No photoshop or digital trickery involved, just a straight forward 'click and go' photo.
But of what?