So there I was, happily taking some pix of some razor wire, when this pair of plastic coppers walk up to me.
"Wot you doing?" asks the slightly more 'in charge' copper.
"I'm taking some photos of the razor wire" I reply.
"Oh yeah? Why's that then?" asks the same copper.
"Because I really like the way the light is reflecting off the sharpness of the razor wire and contrasts with the bricks, and the azure blue sky as a background sets the whole thing off very well indeed" I reply.
"Oh yeah?" He replies.
"Yes" I reply.
"Fing is though, is that right next to this 'ere razor wire, bricks and sky and so, are a load of buildings, and 'ow do we know that you're not casing the joint 'n' taking photers so that you can come back and break in later, eh?" he asks me."
"You've got me there, yes. I could well be casing some very derelict looking buildings and taking photos to remind me that there's a fire escape that makes it easy for me to get to a window that I could break so that I could get in, but someone would have to be incredibly stupid to have to take photos to remind them of that fact, wouldn't they? Don't you think that if I was 'casing the joint', I'd be so stupid as to take photos heralding my intentions to all and sundry including yourselves? Not to mention the fact that there's a CCTV camera right at the end of the alley we're in that's recording us right now?"
"Errr, right., yeah. Maybe not. But you still haven't explained why you're taking photos of that there bit of razor wire!" came the rejoinder.
"If you may recall, I did tell you that it was because I felt it would make for a good photograph" I replied calmly.
"Oh yeah? So, like, you go around everywhere wiv a camera, just in case you find sumfink you like the look of so that you can take photos, is that it?"
"Yes"
"Yeah, right, 'n' 'ow can you prove that then, eh?"
"I don't suppose you read last Friday's Ealing Gazette did you?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Do you remember the Photo of the Week with the rubber ducky balanced on a member of Her Majesty's Guards, do you?"
"Oooh, yeah! I do! That was a good pic that was!"
"This is the rubber duck, and this is the camera that took the photograph"
"Bloody 'ell! That photo's briliant that is! An' you took it?"
"Yes"
"Right then. Congratulations! 'ave a lovely day then miss!"

If anybody asks about a break-in in West Ealing, you ain't seen me, right?

Also, as it's Monday, your Choose-O choices for tomorrow's entertainment are -

• Home Economics
• Heraldry
• Bonnie

Choose wisely mes petits choux, and don't forget to regale me with all your tales from the weekend while you're down there, akay?