Overheard at the weekend.
The scene, a pub garden in West London.

First woman: "I'm really into astrology an' all that y'know, ever since I was little I've been readin' my horoscopes an so, and it's really in'trestin'. I'm an Aquarius on the cups wiv Pices, and me last boyfriend was a Leo which was why we didn't get on after we 'ad the second baby, but he went off wiv my mate 'oos a Saggitarius and apart from when they're fighting an' that, they get on really well cos they're both fire signs, innit. (turns to a woman at the next table) So wot's your sign then?"

Second woman: "I'm Cancer"

First woman: "Ooh, that means you're really sensitive an' although you put on a tough act you're really soft and loving, and really feel emotions, like, yeah?"

Second woman: "Yes"

First woman: "Yeah, I've got a mate 'oos a Cancer like, but she's on the cups wiv Leo so she's got a right temper on 'er sometimes. (turns to talk to man at the table next to her) So wot are you then?"

Man: "Available!"

Me: (tries desperately to stop lager from pouring out of nose while trying not to burst into uncontrollable laughter)

End scene.
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Moving rapidly on, your Choose-O choices for tomorrow's entertainment are -

• On display
• Bike
• Wine

Remember, titles might be misleading as to actual story content and are liable to settle during transit.

Happy wotsits, y'all! and of course, don't forget to tell me all about your weekends while you're down there, akay?