Thursday, July 09, 2009

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, egg & chips

Subject: Hello
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:55:02 +0200
Hi Friend,
I am Melissa Agnes Able, 25 yrs old girl in search of a man who understands love as trust and faith rather seeing it as a way of fun always but a matured man with sense of humour. I’m interested in having a relationship with you and I want to know more about you, let see if we can share common interest together.
I think we should be friends and get acquainted, cause you seem pretty fun, and cute! (It’s ever so hard to tell in this digital world :) anyway, I want to get a response from you...Then maybe we could chat sometime! You know what they say, appearance wins over the eyes, but personality wins over the heart...haha.
I believe we can start from here; if you don’t mind you can email me back with brief introduction of your self and I shall tell you more details that you will like to know about me including pictures of me so you can see how beautiful I am. Enjoy your beautiful day, talk to you very soon.

Date: Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:13:10
Subject: Hello to you as well!
Dear Melissa,
I'm so very, very happy to get your email as it really, really makes me happy to know that I have a new friend, and one so pretty as well! And you guessed correctly! I am pretty fun and cute, yeah!
So, you asked for a brief description of myself!!! Oooh, where to start??? Haha! Well, I enjoy going to my local Church Group (of course!) playing with other girls at the pony club, dressing up to go out wiv my m8s!!! *LOLZ* and of course I absolutely adore kittens!!! (Dur! Who doesn't, a?!)
I'm also looking for a really good girl friend, especially one who's beautiful like you sez UR! Nobody wants to go out with the Grrrlz for a nite and drag a rite minger along with them, do they? *LOLZ* U no wot I means, a?
Anyway, listen to me going on and on again!? *LOLZ* I bet you have lots more intersting things to do that listening to me rabbit, aintcha!? (Dur!!!!!!!) Specially as your also looking for a fit bloke. I'm tellin ya, I no the feelin well, innit! The geezers round here are all right chavs who think taking a girl out for a good time is buying her a WKD and a KFC, then trying it on with you round the back of Sainsburys, innit! *LOLZ*
I'm really, really looking forward to hearing from you again and can't wait to have loads of girly chats wiv you, my new best M8! :-D
Enjoy your beautiful day too, and I pray that God doesn't give you a dose of the clap like he did to my m8 Lisa just coz she got off my my last bloke Wayne.
Luvz ya already!

Date: Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:41:00 +0200
Subject: Hello,
How are you today? I hope you are fine. If so thank be to God almigthy.
I found very interesting to write you and I am very happy to send this mail to you.It gives me great joy and happiness to say hi to you this day and i hope to tell you more about me and my family when next I write to you. My name is Edith Patrick , 24 years old single girl and I hope that we can be friends and keep contact with each other if God wishes and I hope to hear from you soon.
Edith Patrick

Date: Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:27:40
Subject: Hello to you too!
From: mysti
Dear Edith,
Thank you so very much for your charming email! I am very interesting to write to, yes, and indeed it must bring you great joy on this wonderful day to recieve an email written to you, by me! I would love to hear more about you and your family, I really, seriously would, but God just told me that he's very angry with you as you are not really called Edith, and neither are you a girl, but in fact you are a con-artist who deserves to have his nadgers cut off by a rusty penknife, and that I'm not to talk to you ever again.
Sorry about that, enjoy God Almigthy's wrath!

PS. My email is working again. Woohoo!