Friday, April 17, 2009

It's that time of the week again!

All over the world people are watching the clock slowly tick it's way to the end of the working day so that they can then dash home via the pub, and spend the next couple of days doing fabulously exciting things, such as watching TV, eating take-aways, or going back to the pub and getting their weekly quota of alcohol down in three hours.

Or maybe some folk are doing more strenuous activities like going for a run, a session at the gym, or maybe heading for the nearest railway station and trying to spot trains.

But if you are not doing anything even remotely entertaining, then you might like to think up some suggestions for 'The Worst Possible Things To Do Or Say In Court', such as -

Shout 'Here come da Judge!' whenever he enters the court.
Try to bribe the jury while your prosecutor is being examined.
End every question with "Fo shizzle!"
Refer to the Judge as 'Blud bro!'
Bite your toenails.
Try to bite the Usher's toenails.
Ask if anyone on the jury would like their toenails bitten.
Get out a pipe and ask if anyone has any crack on them.
When your defendant is pleading your case, shout "I object!" at every opportunity.
Flirt with the prosecutor.
Open a jar of garlic cloves and eat them.
Hum the line "I fought the law, and the law won" while being cross-examined.

And so on and so forth.
I'm sure you can do better, so over to you, and whatever you're up to over the next couple of days, I hope you have fun.