Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Steak Dinner

Many moons ago when I was running a pub near Reading by mistake, I managed to get a great deal on meat from the local butcher and began doing Steak Dinners at extremely reasonable prices whilst still managing to make a jolly decent profit.
There were plenty of other options on the menu but the Steak Dinners were the most popular with some of the locals making a weekly visit and booking their favourite table for the occasion.
As we were still one of the the last remaining pubs to ignore what the EU said we could or could not do, dogs were also welcome and one canine regular would help me out by scoffing down any leftover bits of meat when he brought his humans to the pub, bless 'im.
But this tale is about the time the Then-partner-in-crime's 'adopted son' and his wife brought their little baby girl to see 'grandad'* in his new pub.

The baby was only about ten months old, and was doing her best to escape from mum and dad at any given opportunity. Although she was quick off the mark, her walking skills weren't that fantastic so she'd fall down on her bum after a six foot dash, and catching her again wasn't that difficult.
But as I said, she was quick off the mark.
On the evening they came in we weren't that busy so the TPIC sat and caught up on family news and getting to know the baby while I carried on looking after the customers and handing back said baby whenever it got out from under the table, or the pushchair, or away from 'grandad' again.
Mum and Dad decided to try one of our Steak Dinners and while they tucked in, they stuck baby between them on the bench where they were seated so that she could have some pureed veg that I'd specially prepared.
Mum and Dad were enjoying their meals very much and although baby had woofed down my special Veggies a la Misty, she was far more interested in what her parents were eating.
Every couple of minutes she'd reach out to try and grab a chip, mushroom, rare steak, whatever she thought she could nab without being noticed and as I was sans customers for a little while I sat down at the table with everyone to watch the anklebiter's antics.
Mum and Dad were still busy talking to the TPIC, and baby was getting bored.
Very bored.
After a while, baby noticed the cutlery that mummy and daddy were using and decided to have a go at playing with mummy's fork, but luckily mummy noticed just in time and took the sharp item away from baby.
Baby was most aggrieved at mummy, and sat pouting while planning her next move.
She played it perfectly.
One moment mummy and daddy were happily talking and finishing off their Steak Dinners when they next thing they knew, baby had grabbed hold of daddy's steak knife and was waving it around like a Samurai on ecstasy.
Mum, dad, and 'grandad' all ducked for cover at once while I did my best to help the situation by falling about laughing.
I couldn't help it; she looked so happy and pleased with herself as she wielded the knife past dad's face for the third time.
But all good things come to an end and mummy managed to get the knife away from baby by bribing her with some chocolate before she managed to stab anyone.
I've never wanted children, but if I had been able to choose I would have opted for one like that, definitely!

*Oh, how I laughed.