Thursday, September 18, 2008

On Spellcheck

Over the years, I’ve done some proof reading for people, and have spotted some absolute ‘howlers’, which, as far as I can tell, are down to the use of ‘Spell Checking’.
Now although spellcheck is extremely useful, it always pays to check, and then double-check that important letter or document before you hit send, or you may find yourselves guilty of classics such as these, all totally correct according to Microshaft.

“It was a case of ‘open foot – insert mouth’ "

“Mrs. _________ lived in a charming country cottage, almost completely covered in hysteria”

“Paul was overjoyed at the opportunity to be reunited with his long lost brothel”

“Sometimes I have difficulty in getting my worms in the right order”

“Her train of thought was cuddled to say the least”

“Some people think more about their shelf than anything else”

“A large croup had gathered by the monument”

“They managed to get themselves the lead prat in the play”

“Alice somehow managed to get her knickers in a twit”

“ I suggest the patient be tweeted with a course of anti-depressants”

“________ was visited by a doctor with diarrhea and vomiting”

“The crass is always greener on the other side of the fence”

“The farmer won the prize with his fine new bollocks”

“The victim was sadly pronounced dear on arrival”

“Poof reader required, contact ___”

And last but not least one from Terry Pratchett, that even got past the Editors at Transworld Publishers - “Granny genteelly covered her hand with her mouth”

And I thought my typing was carp.