Tuesday, July 08, 2008


Driving around London can bring all sorts of unexpected fun. From drunks lurching out in front of you at 4am on an otherwise totally clear road, to Police officers stopping you and asking if you're a bloke when you're female, you never know what to expect next, and here in the heart of the Weirdness Zone, it's possibly more strange than anywhere else in London.
Having the local Nut Hatch just up the road means that I've grown up being entertained by escaped looneytunes running free and wild in Hanwell, and seeing grown men sitting on top of a car stuck in traffic and clucking is nothing new to me.
But I don't expect that sort of thing outside the area, or rather it's not so common.
A few years ago I'd been out with some friends for the day and being the only one among us with a driving license was automatically the designated driver.We spent a lovely afternoon by the river in Twickenham, but all too soon it was time to travel back home.
We got in the car and set off in the early evening light and the drive was rather pleasant until suddenly, without any warning on an otherwise totally clear road, this old bloke steps out right in front of my car!
I had no warning that he was going to do so, it was as if he'd listened out for my car and as soon as it drew near, he stepped out on purpose.
Luckily for him I was only doing about 27 mph (the speed limit was 30) and there was no other traffic behind me and I managed to slam on the brakes so that I stopped within about a foot of him.
My friends and I were rather shocked to say the least and all I could do was stare at him in astonishment as my knuckles changed from white to pink again.
There was what felt like an hour but was only a matter of seconds before the chap started screaming at me and telling me that I should be more careful because he was carrying eggs.
I shook my self wondering if I'd heard right, but yes, he was banging on about eggs, and that I should watch myself in future just in case.
I looked at him and sure enough he was carrying a tray of about 4 dozen eggs, all in large, uncovered cardboard egg tray.
My friends and I stared at him in disbelief and silence until he at last ran out of rant and walked off on his way again.
One of my friends broke the silence saying 'WTF was all that about?' as we watched him carrying his eggs.
All became a bit clearer than mud as he went into the nearby hospital grounds in the direction of the Mental Health Ward.
We decided that he was either a local 'Care in the community' patient, or there was some new law that meant that you are exempt from dangerous pedestrianism if carrying eggs.
What do you reckon?