Tuesday, June 03, 2008


Way back in the mists of time when I was about sixteen years old, my parents went away for week leaving me and the dogs in charge of the house.
I wasn't one for big parties unless someone else was holding them, so the nearest I got to a rave was inviting about four friends over on a Saturday night for a pizza and video session.
During the week I found that instead of the fridge being magically filled on a Saturday (my dad loved organizing the weekly shop) the food was slowly disappearing and so the dogs and I would venture up to the shops to hunt provisions.
It was a rather hot summer's week and after we'd found all we needed we began to head back home with Chips leading the way, Shebie helping me by carrying a small bag of stuff, and me bringing up the rear with the rest of the gear.
Our route took us past my local pub and as it was such a lovely day, many folks were sitting outside supping beer and sunning themselves.
The dogs stopped to be patted and that was when I spotted some friends of mine. I waved hello, and next I knew the dogs and I were having a quick shopping break and were sitting in the cool of the bar with a pint of lager for me, and a large bowl of water for them.
The next day I took the dogs to the shops again and lo and behold, there in the pub were my friends again, and next we knew there we all were back in the bar with a pint, a bowl and this time some crisps for the woofs.
This became our routine for the rest of the week; at about lunchtime the dogs and I would set off for a walkie, get some shopping if needed, take our refreshments in the pub, and then saunter back home via the nearby riverside fields.
The dogs and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, and were rather sad when my parents came back home and changed our routine.
The next Saturday my dad went to get the shopping as usual. He set off with the dogs, but was surprised when they both took a turn towards the park rather than the main road. He decided to follow them and found the stroll via the park most enjoyable.
At the shops they settled to the 'shopping routine' and then headed for the pub where they walked straight into the bar where they were 'hello'ed' and given their usual bowl and packet of crisps.
My friends were rather surprised to not find me with them, but rather more surprised was my dad who put two and two together and got four right away.
His sixteen year old daughter had been frequenting the local pub and had been grassed up by her accomplices in crime.
I think he believed me when I said that I hadn't been drinking and was just looking after the dogs as they were thirsty, but it was a very long time* before I forgave my so-called faithful friends who grassed on me, bless 'em.

*About half an hour, and my dad did see the funny side of it, thank gods.