The Hammock with Surround Sound

Back in my late teens I spent some time living in a flat above a kebab shop on the Fulham Road. The place was small, but warm and cosy, and very handy for getting something to eat as all I had to do was knock on the floor, call out my order from the window, then lower a basket on a rope to get my dinner. Happy days.
It was also entertaining if (like myself) you were into 'People Watching', especially the time a swarm of bees descended on the roundabout outside. It was hilarious watching people in cars suddenly realizing what was going on while stuck in traffic; knowing they couldn't get anywhere fast they'd roll up the windows PDQ and check the car for any bees that had got in, but the best bit was when a copper came along, didn't notice the swarm, and tried to get the traffic moving. His arm movements weren't anything I'd ever seen used in traffic control before.
Anyway, this is all about the hammock with surround sound.
As I said, the flat was small and I'd had a bed constructed from old scaffold posts so that I could put the table and chairs underneath, thus making precious space. One day I got hold of a hammock; made out of string, and only a couple of quid, and I decided to hang it from between the scaffold posts so that I'd have somewhere comfy to watch telly. I also worked it so that if I swung the hammock, I was within easy reach of the table, and the set-up worked well.
The surround sound for the telly came about as payment for doing a shop sign for a chap that did TV and stereo repairs, and he'd very kindly set up a homemade - but most excellent - home entertainment system that involved the record/tape player, telly, and video, and with the help of a couple of strategically placed speakers, it was about the best quality you'd get for free in the late 80s.
One night I had the place all to myself and had treated me to a bottle of wine and a video rental of Nightmare on Elm Street. I ordered my dinner via the usual method, and settled down in the hammock with the lights turned down low for extra atmos.
Now, for those that haven't seen the film or have and can't remember it, one of the characters in it is called Tina, which happens to be the name my parents gave me.
I thought it a funny coincidence and was giggling at the so-called-scary bits until Tina got into trouble.
Freddy was after her, and as in all good horror films, the silly bint had left the house and was running about in a alley wearing the minimal of clothing available.
I found myself holding my breath and waiting for the inevitable slash and gore moment, when suddenly from behind me a voice called out 'Ti-na...'
It startled me. I wasn't expecting that to come from behind me, and I tried to jump up and see who was there.
It is not a good idea to try and stand in a hammock, and I found myself falling to the floor with a very loud thud as the hammock flipped me out.
As I lay there, slightly stunned and covered in lettuce and chilli sauce from the kebab, I heard my name called from outside the flat. It was the bloke from the kebab place asking if I was alright, and the noise had startled everyone in the shop underneath me.
Not wanting to let them know that I'd been 'frightened' by a silly horror film, I told them I was fine, and the hammock had broken.
That was my story, and I've stuck to it until this day.