As I'm still rather* sore from Friday's mishap, I've dug out something old from t'internet for today's entertainment before we get to the all important Monday Choose-O, being:

Defense Against Viking Raids
1.0 Complete a DARC-820AD -- 'Identifying a Barbarian Attack'
-- to determine if the visitors are Viking raiders.
1.1 Are the strangers wearing weapons, helmets, and armor?
1.2 Do the strangers lack trade goods or other evidence
that they might only be peaceful merchants?
1.3 Do the strangers have NASA Ames visitor ID badges?
1.31 If so, do these badges identify the visitors as
Viking raiders?

2.0 Fill out Viking Raid Logbook in Division Office.

3.0 Complete an FF-1066AD -- 'Report of Viking Raid'
3.1 Section I -- Identity of the attackers
3.11 Nationality (if not Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, or
Frisian check 'Other').
3.12 Name of leader (include name of family and clan)
3.13 Under 'Religion' check either 'Pagan' or
'Converted'.
3.2 Section II -- Program Office Review
3.21 Check 'Unclassified'.
3.22 Originating NASA Organization (NASA Ames Research
Center/SST).
3.23 Type in Division Chief.
3.24 Type in Mail Code under 'Office Code'.
3.25 Type in Mail Code under 'Program Office and Code'.
3.3 Write cover letter to NASA Headquarters.

4.0 Assemble the FF-1066AD package. Separate and assemble the
FF-1066AD with four (4) copies of cover letter as follows:
4.1 First Page (white) -- attach cover letter to the back.
On the side write: DO/218-2.
4.2 Second Page (green) -- attach cover letter to the back.
On the side write: S/200-7.
4.3 Third Page (pink) -- attach cover letter to the back.
On the side write: SS/245-1.
4.4 Fourth Page (yellow) -- attach cover letter to the
back. On the side write: Branch Code and Mail Stop
(SST/245-3).

5.0 Finish DARC-820AD -- staple copies of letter to
Headquarters (Step 3.3) to the back.

6.0 Forward DARC-820AD and FF-1066AD package to Division
Office for signatures.
6.1 Division Chief will forward DARC-820AD and letters to
secretary to file in author's file.
6.2 Division Office will sign FF-1066AD, date all copies,
and forward them as follows:
6.21 Original: to Document Control Clerk.
6.21 Others: to Branch Office and Directorate Office.

7.0 Take refuge in the hills until the raiders are gone.

And now for the Choose-O. Your choices are -

Emergency Stop.
Dog Fight.
Spear.

If anybody wants me I can be found inert, under my duvet.

*Very.