Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Equality and Alcohol

Quite a few moons ago, I went out on one of those things called a 'date'. Although I'd met the chap before via friends, I didn't know him that well, but a couple of said friends thought we'd be 'perfect together' and badgered me to go and meet him for a drink.
So I caved to the pressure, put on some slap and glad rags and trundled off to the pre-arranged pub.
I arrived to find him with a group of his friends, who judging by the songs they were singing were into either rugby or rowing*. I waited until they'd stopped making strange gestures and shouting before going over to say hello.
I was greeted by a few 'wayheys' and the chap said hello before asking me if I'd like a drink, to which my reply was 'Yes please, I'll have a pint of bitter'.
He stared at me, and asked if I'd said 'Pint of bitter', before heading to the bar.
He came back with a pint of lager and a half of bitter, placed the half in front of me and said that he didn't buy girls pints, it was not the done thing.
His friends seemed to be waiting for a reaction from me, so being the sweet little thing that I am, I smiled and said thank you.
For about an hour I sat there, surrounded by a group of blokes with seemingly no manners whatsoever, and feeling increasingly ignored as my sad little half a bitter's tide went out.
For another half an hour I waited to see if I'd be offered another drink, but none seemed forthcoming, so I got up, pushed myself into the melee and asked the chap if he'd like another.
His reply was yes, he'd go another pint of lager, so I wombled over to the bar, muttering under my breath.
I purchased another pint and a half, and once more braced the crowd to give him his drink.
The timing was perfect - all was quiet as I placed his half a lager in front of him. His friends stared at me as he said 'What the hell is this? I wanted a pint!'
I smiled sweetly and explained that I didn't buy men pints, took my pint of bitter and drank it outside overlooking the river and watching the sunset before heading home.
His loss.
Wanker.

*After some research into the lyrics 'eyes right' I reckon it was rugby.