Thursday, February 01, 2007

I had another of my weird dreams last night.
London had been invaded by giant prawns, but fortunately Ray Mears had come to stay at my place, and he set about trapping them before cooking them over a fire on spears that he'd knocked up out of curtain poles.
Pudsey went to the park and came back with some ceps that she'd gathered and a bear called Martin, and we all sat around the fire eating the giant prawns and mushrooms.
But then air raid sirens started and we all had to run to the nearest underground station, which luckily was in my back garden, but when we got to the bunker, we found it was the set of Mastermind, and in order to save Ray Mears, I had to answer questions on my special subject, which was chosen for me, and was Big Brother.
I don't watch Big Brother and really couldn't give a rat's ar*e about the contestants, and so Ray Mears was unfortunately dragged off to be spitroasted.
Martin the bear won the game, after answering questions on his special subject of American Idol, but when he went to collect his prize, he savaged John Humphrys in a hallucinogenic fit, induced by a dodgy mushroom.
I really should lay off the cheese before bedtime.

Anyway, it got me thinking about what I would choose as a special subject if ever I went on the show. I'd like to say it would be something intellectual like 'The English Civil War', or 'The Complete Works of Shakespeare', but it would be this - 'Father Ted'.
Or maybe 'Fawlty Towers'.
Yes. If only I'd had to answer questions about life on Craggy Island, poor Ray Mears would still be with us.
What special subject would you lot choose?