To the spiders that are currently residing in my house.

I know you all do a wonderful job with the getting rid of the flies and so, and I realize it's not your fault that you are small, scuttley and give me the wiggins.
I would never intentionally hurt you, and I'm sure it's true about the 'you're more scared of me than I am of you' stuff.

All I'm saying, is please, for the love of all known Gods, stay hidden when I'm around, and never, ever suddenly drop on me when I'm naked after getting out of the shower, or when I'm carrying a tray of plates down the stairs.

That is all. Thank you for listening.