Fairy Tales, part the Fifth.

When I was a Christmas Fairy, weekends at the Grotto were very busy, and as well as Santa, pixie and me, we would have an extra pixie with us to help out.
The Grotto was slap-bang in the middle of a shopping mall, so if we wanted to go for a ciggie break, we went out to where there was an alley between the wall of the mall, which was opposite some big houses, with gardens coming down to where the alley was. There was one spot in the alley which was almost hidden from public view, and we'd hide there on our breaks. Once in a while, we'd be spotted by stray youngsters who thought it was funny to say they were going to report us for smoking, but a quick threat of 'no pressies' and a wave of a rather pointy wand would usually see them off.
One evening at about six o'clock, we'd all had enough of dealing with screaming brats little darlings, and we all decided it was time to 'go and feed the reindeer'. Santa and I were leaning on the wall, and the pixies were standing facing us. Santa thought it would be funny to tell them that he'd spotted a naked woman in one of the houses, and as their reaction was to turn and look saying'Oooh, where!?' it was rather. They seemed rather sad to find there wasn't one after all.
We decided to have one last ciggie before going back into battle, and I'd just lit mine when I glanced up at one of the flats to see a woman, stark naked, standing in her kitchen, cooking what could have been pasta. I jogged Santa's elbow and pointed to where she was. The look on his face was priceless, and he again said to the pixies that there was a naked woman there. 'Oh no' they said. 'You're not catching us with that trick again' and didn't look. 'Fine' said I, 'Don't believe us then, but there really, really is a naked woman there this time; she's cooking pasta'.
Both pixies 'pooh-poohed' us, but then decided to humour us and take a quick, over the shoulder peek just in case.
'Fahking hell!' said the first pixie dropping his fag, 'Cor! look at the tits on that!' said the second 'I've got to get a closer look!' 'Me too' said the first pixie, and they scampered towards a tree, and a shed and proceeded to try climbing them.
Santa and I were in fits of hysterical giggles as we watched the two of them. They made quite a show what with their pointy shoes hampering their climbing techniques, and the bells on their hats jingling and shining in the lamplight.
It was then that I noticed a couple of rozzers walking slowly down the alley towards us.
I nudged Santa, and pointed to them, but it was too late to try and alert the pixies. Santa and I tried our best to look nonchalent, and were nothing whatsoever to do with the pixies, who were making lewd comments rather loudly by this time.
The coppers drew almost level with us, and I tried to think how on earth we were going to explain what was happening down at the station. I could see the headlines in the local paper, and they weren't good.
The officers must have been thinking along the same lines. As they went past, their faces remained totally impasssive. I could imagine them thinking that if they did try and nick the pixies for tresspass and lewd behaviour, they'd have to bring Santa and a Fairy in as witnesses.
They did what all decent rozzers should do in situations like that, and ignored us, and walked on by.
To this day, I wonder if they ever told anyone what they saw.