SNAFU

If there's anyone still out there, I'm still alive but my faithful, ancient 'puter had a major hissy fit last Thursday and I haven't been able to get much sense out of it since then.
But now, I have a new* laptop and after painstakingly transfering loads of files from one to the other, I'm back in business again, hurrah!

And not being one to break tradition, I have once again trawled the depths of the intermanet to bring you the following photo for today's Double Entendre Day, Caption Competition -



There's a travel sweetie going for every entry and a packet of chewing gum available should I getting a very long forgotten 69.

And btw, I am so very, very happy to be back again, I missed you lot loads!
Did anyone miss me...?

* Well, new to me but still second hand.

Hurrah, hooray, it's Double Entendre Day!

And as regular readers here will know, that means it's time for yet another Caption Competition, huzzah!
This week, it has come to my attention that there is some sort of sports competition going on so I have yet again trawled teh intermanet to find you something interesting, and also topical for your delectation and delight.
A quick search of the words 'Football' and 'England' later I found this -



Your reward for posting lots of witty and erudite comments? A half an orange for every comment left and there's a mug of Bovril available should I get me a very long awaited 69!

So, as per usual, without further preamble,

Get,

Stuck,

In there!

PS. If you haven't already voted for this week's Choose-O option, please scroll down to yesterday's post and do so, akay?

'ello again my cherubs! And I hope today finds you all bright of eye and bushy of tail and ready for yet another Choose-O!
It's seems to be getting more often than not that the Monday Choose-O happens on a Tuesday, what with me either being away/unable to get on the intermanet/wishing you all a happy solstice, but as long as no-one gets confused and thinks they've missed a day I can't see it causing a problem.
Anyhoo, this week I have a couple of fabulous choices for you which are -

• Speech
• Bored

Do remember that the title may or may not be entirely related to the tale itself and that contents may settle during transit, but as usual, please choose wisely and don't forget to tell me all about what you've been up to over the previous weekend, akay?

Oh, and I also have a question for you to get you thinking, being,
"What is the Fabric of Time made of?"
Answers via the comments box/on a a postcard/via carrier pigeon.

ttfn!

Eggs

Some years ago in the rather distant past, some friends of mine and I decided to go for a drive to Isleworth to visit the London Apprentice.
It was a glorious hot summer's say and we were looking forward to lunch and a cool drink, and the only downside was that it appeared everyone else in London had had the same idea about heading to Isleworth as the traffic on the A4 was pretty heavy for mid-week, but we didn't let that get us down and we played I-Spy while we waited for the traffic to move.
Eventually it did and we turned off the main road, Isleworth bound and even more thirsty.
The road was clear with no traffic signals or pedestrian crossings ahead of me, but I still kept an close eye on the road and stuck to the speed limit, in case anything felt the urge to run out in front of me.
I sometimes get a feeling like some one's warning me to be extra careful for some reason, and this happened to me right then, and a good thing it was too as next I knew, this old man aged about 90 stepped right out in front of my car.
I managed to brake in time and drew to a halt about a foot or so away from him, and to my amazement, he turned to me a began to swear loudly.
I in turn asked him what the f*&£ he thought he was doing stepping out in front of my car instead of walking further along the road to where there was a crossing, and his rejoinder was to point at the box he was carrying and shout that 'Couldn't I see he was carrying eggs?!'
Still ranting he slowly walked away and I carried on driving.
As I did, we all began to talk about what had just happened and whether or not there was some strange law in Isleworth that exempted people carrying eggs from jay-walking, but then I looked up and saw a sign above where he was heading towards.
In big, bold letters it read, 'Psychiatric Unit'.
The incident became rather clearer after that, but I still take extra special care while driving that route even now.

And once again 'tis Hump day, hurrah!

And of course, for your delectation and delight I have once again trawled teh intermanet to find you a photo worthy of many, witty and erudite comments for this Double Entendre Day's Caption Competition. It is this -



There's a couple of potato dumplings going for every entry and a hot dog's available for the person who gets me a seriously long awaited 69!

So without further preamble, Get In There!

I did mean to post yesterday, honest! But I ended up going to Kent instead and got back rather later than planned, but I had a lovely time and so did Fuzzy as you can tell by clicking here and seeing the photos!
Anyhoo, I also nearly didn't get to blog today as when I went out to take some more clickage earlier, I got hit on the head by a squirrel.
What happened was that I was trying to get as close as possible to a robin that was busy doing something under a tree, and next I knew I heard a scrabbly noise in the tree above me so I stood up and turned to look at where the noise was coming from, and that's when I saw the squirrel and it saw me.
I saw me while it was in mid-leap and being startled it missed the branch it was aiming for and headed right towards me! Luckily I ducked just before it landed and in got me on the back of the head rather than right in my face, but it was still rather a nasty shock.
Mind you, seeing as that's the third time I've had a squirrel land on me I should be getting used to it by now.
Anyways, as it's not Monday, I'll give you this week's Choose-O choices today and I'll type up the top choice on Thursday; your options are -

• Speech
• Eggs

As usual, don't forget to tell me all about your adventures while you're down in my comments box, especially if they involved errant wildlife, akay?

tootle-pipski!

Hello Kitty

Many moons ago I had three wonderful dogs, named Candy, Shebie and Pudsey.
Candy was more my dad's dog, but Shebie and I had grown up together and Pudsey had been with us for about two years after her previous humans didn't want her as she wasn't a full pedigree miniature Yorkshire Terrier as it had stated on the tin*.
Apart from the occasional squabble, all three dogs got along fine with me as the Alpha female making sure there were no rebellions over who got the last piece of sausage etc.
Most days had a routine to them; the dogs would wake someone up to take them to the park and give them breakfast, then they would spend the day doing their usual doggy things such as checking the garden for squirrels and dragons, and making sure that they were first to get the comfy spot in the sunshine at nap-time.
Another regular occurrence happened at around 6pm, when a local cat would try its best to wind the dogs up. It did so by jumping up onto the fence that divided the house next door to us and was visible from the front room in my house. The cat would take its time ensuring that the dogs would notice it, then it would strut slowly along the fence to where the dogs could see it from the dining room, before jumping down off it and ambling across the lawn to where it could once again climb a fence and disappear into another neighbour's garden.
The barking of the hounds heralded the cat's arrival and would last for around five minutes as kitty strutted his stuff and wound the pack up into a frenzy.
But one day, kitty wasn't quite so lucky.
As usual at about 6pm, kitty began to saunter along the fence and as usual was espied my my dogs who as normal began to howl and bark their insults at the cat.
Again as usual, the cat walked along the fence until it got to the spot where it could be seen from the dining room and jumped onto the lawn and began to slowly walk away waving his tail in the air as if to say 'Up yours, stoopid dogs!'.
But, kitty didn't know that the back door had been left open.
The dogs knew that the back door was open, and led by Shebie they hurtled out en masses and barking and baying all manner of insults at the cat.
Now I knew that my dogs wouldn't hurt the kitty, but the kitty didn't know that, and for a second a look of shear panic crossed its face before it literally crapped and pee'd itself.
The dogs took a sniff and scrambled to a halt right in front of the cringing cat, who hadn't even had a chance to make itself look big, and then the dogs stared at the stinky, cowardly custard of a cat before walking away with their noses held high in disgust.
Funnily enough, we never saw kitty again after that...

*Her daddy was the German Shepherd that was on duty at the kennels and paid her mummy a visit the night before she went to be 'bred'.

And so, once again tis Wodenstag, which means it's time for yet another fabulously scintillating, Double Entendre Day, Caption Competition, woohooooo!

For those of you who don't know how to join in, what happens is that I post a photo below, and you have to come up with as many witty and erudite captions as you possibly can. With me so far?

Excellent, and in that case your photo for this week's Comp is -



Your reward for stuffing my box with as much as you can this week, is a multivitamin for every entry and there's a co-codamol available should I be so lucky as to get me another long-awaited and much missed, 69.

So, stop sitting there and get stuck in.

NOW!*

*Please.

PS. If you haven't already done so, please scroll down to yesterday's post and cast your votes for this week's Choose-O, akay?

Hello again my cherubs! I hope you've all recovered from the party and had a lovely weekend too!

I had a fun time away in Cadbury; once myself and the rest of us managed to get our respective breaths back from climbing the hill fort, we got into our packs, learnt what the 'plot' was for the day, and off we went a-skirmishing.
By the way, if any of you don't know about Cadbury hill fort, it's in Somerset, has nothing to do with chocolate, is incredibly steep and covered in cow pats and patches of thistles.
So, for the first fight, one of us had an idea to launch an ambush on one of the Saxon packs, and so as the rest of my lot went and hid in a hollow made by an old rampart, I toddled up to the top of another rampart where I could see what the Saxons were doing and could give my lot a yell when the time came to attack.
Alas, this didn't happen as planned as the Saxon lot saw me and came up to find out what I was doing sitting alone on a rampart. I did my best to look innocent and not give the game away, but then another lot of Saxons came strolling along towards where the Vikings were hiding.
I couldn't shout out to warn my lot what was happening but I did my best to wander off un-noticed until I was in a position to wave frantically at the Vikings without the Saxons seeing what I was up to.
Luckily my lot heard the approach of the second lot of Saxons and when they got close enough the ran screaming towards them and killed them all.
Which was nice.
When everyone came back to life again, we once more trundled off in different directions around the top of the hill fort until our paths crossed once again and we'd have another mighty battle.
Now the plot for the day was to capture a 'King' and hold him for as long as possible; the objective being that whoever had the king when the fighting was over were the winners.
We captured the king on our third battle, and had him with us right up until the last fight was called.
We went into battle with a flurry of spears and swords and once again the hill fort rang with the sound of spear on shield as we fought til the death.
Then suddenly I realized that everyone else in my pack was dead, and only one of the enemy was left alive. This one enemy was a most ferocious warrior armed with spear, shield and sword and clad in fine leather armour to help deflect blades.
For a second I thought something along the lines of 'Uh-oh' and wondered if running away would be a good idea, but then I remembered that keeping the king was now up to me and so I turned to fight him.
It was over all too soon. I only had my spear to fight with, and no armour- just the dress I was wearing, and a fruit knife held on my belt.
I reckoned I'd be killed rather quickly and as I said, the battle only lasted a minute or so before I saw a chance to catch his spear with mine when his shield was just far enough away and I pushed his spear out, thrust mine in and stabbed him right through the heart!
To say I was rather pleased with myself was an understatement!
But anyhoo, all good things have to come to an end eventually, and we wandered once more down the hill fort and rested a while before we tucked into a most delicious banquet washed down with plenty of ale and mead.
I had a brilliant time and have the bruises to prove it.

So back to regular life again, and as I couldn't get onto Blogger yesterday for some strange reason, I'm giving you your Choose-O choices now for Thursday and they are -

• Speech
• Hello Kitty

Choose wisely, and don't forget to tell me all about your weekends while you're down there, akay?

ttfn,

Oh, my lovelies! I hope there are still some of you still coming back and reading my little blog, as I feel awful for not being online as much as I've wanted!
After I posted last Wednesday, my intermanet connection went down yet again! and I had to call out BT a second time to come and sort it out!
So this morning I was woken up by a BT engineer who pointed some sort of beepy contraption at the external phone line and made tutting noises as he shook his head. I feared the worst, but now, happily, I'm back on again, hurrah!
I've had a text from BT assuring me that they've now fixed the problem, but that's what they assured my on Wednesday. I can only pray that this time it's going to stay fixed for more than six hours!

Anyway, all that kerfuffle means that I haven't had much time to sort out the 6th Years Blogiversary Party that I had planned for today, let alone give you plenty of advance notice, but I've got a few balloons up and am wearing my best Pirate costume to get into the partay mood!
For refreshments, you will find some cake and party nibbles over on the sideboard, and on the table in the far corner you can all help yourselves to drinkies. Oh, and do try the punch! It might look a bit of an odd colour, but it tastes fab, I promise! *hic*

As to party games, as well as the usual Twister, Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, Hide and Seek and so, I've left Team Misty out so that anyone who fancies trying a spot of Duck Balancing can do so! Just don't get any of the ducks in the puchbowl, akay?
Ooh, and also, to get your grey matters working, I've decided on another game of Mornington Crescent, but this time it is to be played in the style of Pirates! I'll go first, then you can carry on in the comments box.

But as you're all having fun, sadly I won't be around to play for long as once again I'm off to hit people with Mr Pointy in the wilds of Somerset, but please, please do help yourselves to anything food and drink-wise, and generally make yourselves at home.
Also, don't forget to let me know what your costumes are, and if you've brought anything edible or drinkable, tell everyone what you're sharing.

Have a fabulous time everyone, and see you on Sunday!

ttfn,

Hooray! I'm finally back online again!

I wanted to post last Friday to let you all know that I was going to be away over the Bonk holiday weekend and back yesterday, but thanks to BT my intermanet connection was down and I couldn't. But anyway, I was away visiting the Isle of Wight (which was excellent!) and I'm back again now, just in time for the Double Entendre Day Caption Competition, rah!

Your photo this week is this -

There's a peanut available for every entry and a bun going free if I get another 69. What more incentive do you need to give my box a good stuffing, eh?

Oh, and before you get stuck in, you might be interested to know that today is my 6th Blogiversary! Yep, I've been busy waffling away about all sorts of weird and wonderful things that pop into my brain here for six whole years! Woo, and indeed Hoo!
I'll be holding a party on Friday as I couldn't give you any advance warning for today, so start planning your costumes now, akay?

So Get Stuck In! And tell me all about what you've been up to since we last spoke while you're down there! It was great to go to the Isle of Wight, but it's also great to be back home and online!