Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Some readers may remember the post I wrote ages ago called 'Fight Pub' in which one of the minor characters was a lodger who was lodging in the pub I was running at the time.
If you want to read that tale you can do so by clicking here, but it's not necessary to do so as this tale will make sense without the other info. Hopefully.
So anyway, some years ago I was running this pub in Old Woking with the Then-Partner-In-Crime.
It was an 'interesting' pub inasmuch as you never knew from one day to the next whether a fight would break out or not, a riot would start across the road, or maybe the rozzers would raid the place, or an interesting new lot of lodgers would come to stay.
Most of the 'interesting' stuff I could have done without, especially one Saturday night when all hell broke loose thanks to the local bully picking a fight with me and the band that had been playing. (See earlier link for details)
Also that evening, one of the lodgers who'd been staying had helped make the evening worse by getting pished, trying to chat up someone else's girlfriend, and the biggest mistake of all, grabbed me from behind and rubbed himself up against me.
To say I was unhappy with his behaviour was an understatement.
This lodger was part of a group of men who were working on a building site somewhere nearby and the boss and his team had taken over all the spare rooms we had. The rest of the team were great guys; always polite, never caused trouble, and all went to bed at closing time without even trying to push for after hours drinks, and so I decided not to complain about the one lodger and instead gave him a yellow card with the warning that if he pissed me off one more time, then I'd be angry, and he really didn't want to see me angry.
Sunday passed peacefully. The only thing I had to do was to get my cheek X-rayed after being punched in the face the night before and give my statement to the old bill when I got back, and to say I was tired when we finally closed up and had some free time to eat, watch some inane programme on telly and flop was an understatement.
It had been a very long day, and by the time we'd cashed up, cooked our dinner and so it was getting on for 1am.
It was a relief to snuggle up under the duvet and watch some daft film as we listened to the rain outside beating down on the roof.
I'd almost nodded off when I heard a hammering at the front door and someone shouting for attention.
With a sigh I went to the window and leaned out to find out what was going on, only to see that lodger swaying drunkenly as he rapped on the door.
He hadn't seen me and I got back into bed and told the TPIC what was occurring.
"Are you going to let him in then?" he asked.
I replied that it was pissing it down raining very heavily outside, it was 1.30 in the morning, and that no, I wasn't going to let him in straight away.
I'd have happily left him out there all night but after about fifteen minutes, he was shouting and hammering so loudly I thought he was going to wake up the other lodgers and possibly the neighbours, so I donned my dressing gown and with a snarl, went to let him in.
I didn't hurry as I found the keys and went down to the bar, and when I suddenly opened the front door, the prat almost fell into the bar.
He took one look at the expression on my face and I thought he was going to do a runner back into the night, but instead he stammered an attempt at an apology.
I very quietly but firmly told him I was really, seriously annoyed and angry and the best thing for him to do was to get the fuc hell out of my way and not make another sound until morning.
He looked terrified and when he noticed the TPIC standing on the stairs looked to him for help, but the TPIC told him that he had nothing to do with the situation and alas, couldn't do anything to help him even if he'd wanted to.
The lodger fled up the stairs and I once again locked up before heading up the stairs and back to the sanctuary of my bed.
I had to go past the room that the lodger was sharing with the boss of the group and as I did so I found the lodger standing with his back to me gently tapping on the door trying to get the boss's attention so he could let him in.
I couldn't resist.
I snuck up behind the lodger and slammed my hand against the door loudly enough to wake up the entire pub, thus causing the lodger to almost piss himself with shock.
That did the trick of waking the boss and when he opened the door I informed him as to what his employee had done.
The boss apologized and told me he'd deal with the lodger first thing in the morning, and leaving the lodger to his fate I went back to bed once more.
The next day I found out that at 06:30 hours, the boss had told the lodger to pack his things, then taken him to a cash point to take out the money he owed us for his rent plus £50 extra, then taken the money from him before leaving him at the nearest railway station without a reference and the clear instructions to sod off and never come back again, ever.
The boss gave us the £50 for way of an apology on the lodger's behalf and also apologized to us personally for the behaviour of his staff.
I just wish I could have seen the lodger trying to cope with no sleep, a massive hangover and no job.
Justice I felt, had been served, and it was good.