Thursday, March 12, 2009


Many moons ago when Misty was a little girl, she was forced to go to a most hated place called 'School'.
It was so hated because although there were nice things involved such as Drama, Art and Lunchtimes, most of the time little Misty was bored witless, but the teachers (being 'oh so clever and grown up') didn't realize this and decided that little Misty was just being lazy or not paying attention.
For example, in English Lit. lessons, all the pupils in the class were to read the same book at the same time, with chosen girls reading out the different character parts and the narrative. Little Misty loved to read and would get so engrossed in the story that she would be pages ahead of the others who were reading at the same pace, and she wouldn't register the words being read out loud. This meant that when a teacher tried to get little Misty's attention because it was her time to read a line, little Misty wouldn't have a clue as to which bit she was supposed to read out, and therefore the teachers thought she was daydreaming about something else entirely and give her a punishment for not paying attention. Not once did they ask her how far ahead in the book she was, and little Misty thought that most unfair and hateful.
During those years at school, little Misty began to suffer from epistaxis, or nosebleeds as they're commonly known. Poor little Misty would be happily clambering to the top of the climbing frame, the next she'd have blood pouring out of her nose which meant that she had to spend the rest of playtime sitting down with a wad of tissues clamped firmly to her nose until the bleeding stopped.
These nosebleeds would happen without any warning and would sometimes last for up to an hour and little Misty hated them almost as much as school and the horrible teachers.
One hot summers day after a particularly lovely lunchtime, little Misty was feeling rather more upset than usual as that afternoon was to be spent in a very long lesson with one of the more spiteful teachers, and little Misty was not looking forward to is one jot.
When the bell rang the pupils all trooped up the to classroom to find that the teacher had set up the film projector and was blocking out the beautiful sunshine with thick curtains so that the room would be dark enough to watch the film.
The teacher ordered everyone to take their seats and pay attention to the film which was all about something incredibly boring, but according to the teacher 'most informative', and furthermore, no one was to speak, raise their hand, or even whisper to the person next to them until the film was ended and the teacher gave them permission to talk again.
And so with the last ray of sun severed, the teacher pressed the start button and the film began.
About ten minutes into the monotony, little Misty felt a very familiar feeling in her nose and a warm trickle slowly began to wend it's way down her face.
She tried to find a tissue, but then remembered that she'd left hers in her bag which was downstairs in the cloakroom.
As the flow of blood got rather heavier, she decided to brave the teacher's wrath and raise her hand.
The teacher spotted the gesture and completely ignored little Misty.
The nosebleed was really starting to pick up speed and little Misty was beginning to panic a tad and so decided to to call out to get the teacher's attention.
This infuriated the teacher who - instead of asking if anything was wrong - told little Misty that she was going to be in serious trouble after the lesson and because she had dared to interrupt the class, to go and sit at her desk away from the rest of the pupils so that she would not be tempted to raise her voice once more.
And so poor little Misty, not wanting to get into even more trouble, went and took the teacher's seat, leaving a trail of blood across the floor as she went.
For the next thirty minutes or so, little Misty tried her best to stop the nosebleed using her socks as makeshift handkerchiefs, but even so the blood carried on dripping.
It dripped onto little Misty's uniform. It dripped onto the teacher's desk which was covered in very important class notes and the form register. It dripped onto the teacher's chair and onto the floor, and to little Misty's great satisfaction she managed to drip blood all over the horrible teacher's handbag.
In brief, there was blood all over the place and by the time the film was over and the teacher took the curtains down so that everyone could see clearly again, little Misty looked like one of Freddy Kruger's victims.
The teacher took one look at the scene and shrieked with alarm which caused the girls in the class to look over at little Misty.
The next minute the girls were panicking and crying and some of them managed to lose their lunches over their desks which made the teacher shriek with even more gusto.
The noise of twenty or so girls screaming, crying and vomiting caught the attention of the head mistress who was teaching the class next door and she came in to find out what was going on.
The first thing she did was to run over to little Misty and ask what had happened, and little Misty (who had begun to cry by this time) shakily explained that the teacher had told her that she wasn't allowed to talk, else she'd be in serious trouble.
The school nurse was called and took little Misty to the sick bay to be cleaned up and looked after until the blood stopped.
The pupils were taken out to the playground by another teacher and left to play until school finished for the day.
But best of all, the horrible, hateful teacher was left to clear up the classroom.
Big Misty recalls that day with a great sense of happiness and satisfaction, and after a visit to a special Ear, Nose and Throat hospital who cauterized a blood vessel, her nosebleeds stopped completely.
Which was nice.