On not quite getting the present you really wanted.

And so it was a couple of days to go before Christmas and although I had written a letter to Satan Santa, the ex-partner-in-crime admitted that he had not a clue as to what to get me for Crimble. He also asked my advice on what he should get his girlfriend and family members, but that's another story all together.
Anyway, knowing that times are hard right now I told him that I was heading out to the shops to get some last minute odds and ends that I needed, and would he like to come along so that maybe I could drop some hints about what to get people.
To my surprise he agreed and so a short while later we were sniffing about in a local charity shop.
I found to my delight, an absolutely gorgeous corset which was made more for 'overwear' than 'underwear' and not only was it in my size, it was a fabulous bargain to boot!
As the e-p-i-c was rifling through the book section, I sidled over and said "Ooh look! I've found a gorgeous top that I really, really like! It's exactly the sort of thing that I'd love to get for Christmas, and it's also my size and a bargain! Shame I can't afford to buy it for myself, but such is life... *cough*. Anyway, I'm just popping to the shop next door, but before I go I'll just leave this top on the rail over there" and then pootled over and left the top right at the end of the clothes rail in easy view.
I scampered out of the shop but stopped for a quick glance through the window to see him stare right at the top before walking towards the rail.
I was very happy at my find, as when we had been a couple, I'd had to 'remind' him on a few occasions not to buy me clothing unless I'd specifically stated the exact item and size required etc*, but this time I was sure that nothing could go wrong, and I was looking forward to my 'surprise'.
A short while later he met me in the next shop carrying a large bag and off we went to finish the shopping before home for tea.
So.
Christmas day arrived, and while the turkey did it's thang in the oven the ex and I went to the pub to meet up with a friend who was coming round for dinner, then after a couple of aperitifs we headed homeward for sherry and pressie time.
All was going well; I was enjoying watching my ex and my friend open their pressies from me as much as I was enjoying my glittery-wrapped discoveries.
Until I got to the one from my ex.
Although I knew what it was, it was something I seriously liked and was looking forward to wearing it, even though it was too cold a time of year.
He passed me the parcel and it didn't quite feel like just a corset, so I thought he'd probably wrapped it in a scarf or similar and I began to unwrap it carefully.
At last I got through the sticky-tape and shiny paper and took out a dress...

Not a corset.

A dress.

And not just an ordinary dress either.

No, this was a Disney Princess Dress.

Velvet with gold braid, and very pretty yes, but still a Disney. Princess. Dress.

I stared at it in amazement and disappointment and in a very quiet voice asked "What happened to the top I really liked?"
He replied that when I'd put the top back he couldn't find it again, but he knew that I liked 'that sort of dress' and he had checked the size to make sure it would fit.
I took a look at the label on the garish thing and read 'For Ages 10 - 12'.
I'm a size 10, and I'm aged rather more than 12 I explained before bursting into tears.

But a sherry or so later I did see the funny side of it. He really had tried to get me something I'd love, and the dress was very sweet and pretty in it's way, just not something I'd ever wear, unless maybe for a bet, play, or fancy dress party.
And I can still see the funny side, especially now that yesterday we went back to the shop and luckily the top I'd set my heart on was still there and the very lovely lady behind the counter swapped it for me despite him not keeping the receipt.
I did explain to her and the rest of the customers in the queue what had happened first though. I think they're probably still laughing as well.
I think next year I'll just mention tokens or cash. Surely he can't go wrong with that.
Can he...?


*The incident with the bright orange jumper was early on in our relationship and I carefully and tactfully explained about women and clothing and 'What Not To Buy'. He is now generally very good at not buying the wrong thing.
Honest.