Thursday, June 26, 2008

Helloo darlings, and ooh boy, have I found something fun for you to think about today!?*
I found a snippet in a comic magazine called Full House in a category they call 'Cleverclogs'**
In this corner of the com magazine they get readers to write in with a household problem they have such as 'What is the best way to get blood stains out of a Millwall Football strip, or 'How do I best disguise the smell of crack before the rozzers turn up?' and print it, then ask the readers to write in with their ideas and recommendations on how to solve the problem
As an aside, I personally think this an ingenious idea on the part of the staff of the publication, as they themselves do not actually have to think up a reply or do any research.
Kudos to them I say, except for the fact they still send the persons with the sanest answers a small fee in return for their trouble.
Anyways, back to my idea, which you may have already figured out by now, is a Total Money Magnet!
I purchased the latest edition as I was feeling a bit low and needed some tales of rutting chavs and sisters shagging each others boyfriends to cheer me up, when I espied one of the questions written in by a reader in need of some help.
Her question is:
"I'm going away camping soon. What can I take from home that will be handy?"

Now as you can imagine, a million and one answers swamped my brain, each one ready to earn me £10 per 'written' answer, plus another £15 if I can provide a photo to illustrate or demonstrate my idea!

Guys, seriously, we're on the gravy train here!
I've already thought up a fortunes worth with answers such as -
A tent to sleep in will stop you getting wet, as well as provide privacy while changing or shagging. (£25)
A torch so that you can see without any lights on (£10)
Food, so you don't get hungry (£25)
A sleeping bag so that you have something warm to sleep in (£10)
~ From now on, just take the £15 or £10 bit as added, akay? ~
A change of clothes
A machete
A copy of Full House comic magazine***
A troop of boy scouts to light fires/sew badgers on to you/sing camp fire songs
Kitchen sink
Monkey wrench
Travel Monopoly
Game of Twister
Map of Ibiza
Two week supply of Pot Noodle
All items of make-up you have in case you see a nice looking geezer in the next field
Dozen bottles of Bacardi Breezer
Two cases Wife beater Stella
Telly guide
DVD player
Caravan with a Portaloo and shower
Phone numbers for local Chinese and Indian delivery places
Can opener
Bottle opener
Condoms and/or pill
The complete works of William Shakespeare/or toilet paper
Mobile phone to call for taxi home

And I am certainly sure you can add to this list, thus securing us all enough money for at least a bloody good weekend away in a decent hotel somewhere.
Over to you...

*The writer of this Blog takes no responsibility for the definition of 'fun' as defined by the readers. So nyer!
**Why, I have no idea unless it's to try and give the readers a sense of achievement and intelligence.
***Guaranteed to get you published.