Wotcha groovers, and welcome to another Monday!

Other than the excitement of the Red Nose Day auction, the only highlight of my weekend* was a trip to my local supermarket-from-hell, more commonly known as Lidl. Now they do sell decent food there including some of my favourite things from Germany, as well as the occasional absolute bargain that you weren't expecting to find, but the one near me is a fuc right shambles, and generally packed with shoppers picking up cheap stuff for their local cafes and massive families.
In brief, it is not a shopping trip that fills my heart with joy, but the ex-partner-in-crime offered to buy me a drink at my local after, so I set off with a little more bounce in my step than usual.
Anyhoo, while I was desperately seeking dinner I found something I'd been after for a while that wasn't on the list, to whit - a riding crop! I haven't been horse riding in ages, but I miss it and want to go again asap, so seeing as I've still got my hat, boots and jodhpurs, I decided to treat myself to a new crop.
After spending what felt like eternity at the checkout, I wombled pubwards clutching my shopping and shiny new, whippy crop.
I thought nothing of it until I bumped into a couple of friends, and while chatting, the chap started staring at the crop.
His girlfriend's eyes followed his gaze and the conversation stopped.
"Erm... why are you carrying a riding crop around Hanwell Broadway?" he asked nervously.
"Do you really want to know?" I replied.
Funnily enough he said no.
The regulars at my pub have started looking at me in a new light as well. I can't think why...

Anyway, it's Monday, so get your choosing hats on for tomorrow's entertainment.
The choices are:

Emergency Stop.
Equality and Alcohol.
Cock Fighting.

Choose wisely my angels!

*Other than double Casualty. The TV programme, not a hospital visit.